I’m Too Hot for School Pickup—Other Moms Judge Me, But I Won’t Hide Who I Am

Being con­fi­dent in your own skin isn’t always easy—especially when it feels like every­one around you is watch­ing and judg­ing. As a mom, I’ve learned this the hard way. School pick­up, which should be a sim­ple part of the day, has become a source of ten­sion for me. Oth­er moms judge me for how I look, but I’ve decid­ed I won’t let their opin­ions change who I am.

I’m not alone in this expe­ri­ence. Rosana Fer­reira, a 38-year-old influ­encer and mom, recent­ly opened up about fac­ing sim­i­lar judg­ment. Fer­reira, who won the first-ever Miss Bum­Bum beau­ty pageant—a com­pe­ti­tion focused on cel­e­brat­ing women’s con­fi­dence and curves—has built a career as a mod­el, night­club per­former, and con­tent cre­ator. With over 153,000 fol­low­ers on social media, she’s no stranger to atten­tion. But not all of it has been pos­i­tive.

Fer­reira shared that for years, she avoid­ed pick­ing up her son, Marce­lo, now 11, from school or attend­ing school events because of the way oth­er moms treat­ed her. “Until my son turned eight, I avoid­ed pick­ing him up from school or attend­ing activ­i­ties with oth­er moms as much as pos­si­ble,” she revealed. When she did show up, she noticed “judg­men­tal looks, whis­pers, and even hos­tile sit­u­a­tions.”

t’s not just the stares that both­ered her. Some moms would go out of their way to ignore her or make “mali­cious com­ments” about her appear­ance. Fer­reira recalled one par­tic­u­lar­ly uncom­fort­able moment at a birth­day par­ty for her son. “Some looked me up and down and whis­pered to each oth­er,” she said. “It was so awk­ward that I decid­ed to leave ear­ly.”

Despite the judg­ment, Ferreira’s rela­tion­ship with her son is strong. She’s always been open with him about her career, and as he’s got­ten old­er, he’s devel­oped a bet­ter under­stand­ing of what she does. “I’ve always been very trans­par­ent with him about my career and nev­er hid who I am,” she shared. “Our rela­tion­ship is based on respect and trust.”

Being a sin­gle mom has added anoth­er lay­er of com­plex­i­ty to her life. Fer­reira shared that she’s had strange expe­ri­ences with men who couldn’t han­dle her lifestyle. One man end­ed things after find­ing out she was a mom, while anoth­er was shocked that she brought pre­pared meals on their dates.

Now, Fer­reira is focus­ing on her­self and her son. “My ther­a­pist sug­gest­ed I need­ed some time for myself, away from any male influ­ence,” she explained. “I thought it was a good idea because it’s been hard to find some­one who doesn’t com­pli­cate my life.”

Her sto­ry res­onates with me because I’ve felt the same judg­ment at school pick­up. Whether it’s my choice of out­fit or sim­ply the way I car­ry myself, I’ve noticed the side­ways glances and whis­pers. But here’s the thing: I refuse to let oth­er people’s opin­ions dic­tate how I live my life. I’m proud of who I am, and I won’t hide that to make oth­ers com­fort­able.

At the end of the day, school pick­up is about my child, not a fash­ion show or a pop­u­lar­i­ty con­test. I’m there to sup­port my kid, not to impress oth­er moms. And if that means deal­ing with a few judg­men­tal looks, so be it. I’m done apol­o­giz­ing for being myself.

What about you? Have you ever felt judged as a mom? Let’s start a con­ver­sa­tion and sup­port each other—because we all deserve to feel con­fi­dent in our own skin.