Seven Kids Later, Marriage Struggles: “We’re in Therapy Because of the Age Difference”

Hilar­ia Bald­win, 41, has opened up about the unique chal­lenges in her mar­riage to actor Alec Bald­win, 67 — includ­ing the need for cou­ples ther­a­py to nav­i­gate their 26-year age gap.

“I don’t believe age is just a num­ber, at least not for us,” she shared on the Uncut and Uncen­sored pod­cast. “There are cer­tain things where I have to look at him and say, ‘He has 26 years more expe­ri­ence.’”

Hilar­ia explained that while Alec’s matu­ri­ty can be a strength, it also brings dif­fi­cul­ties. “Some­times that’s an advan­tage, and some­times that means we need a lit­tle ther­a­py,” she admit­ted.

A Big Family and a Complicated Past

The cou­ple mar­ried in 2012 and now share sev­en chil­dren, rang­ing in age from 2 to 12. Dur­ing the con­ver­sa­tion, Hilar­ia also touched on Alec’s pre­vi­ous mar­riage to Kim Basinger. The two were mar­ried from 1993 to 2002 and share a daugh­ter, Ire­land.

“He had a very noto­ri­ous, com­pli­cat­ed sit­u­a­tion with his pre­vi­ous wife and with Ire­land,” Hilar­ia said. “I think he want­ed anoth­er chance to do things dif­fer­ent­ly and make dif­fer­ent deci­sions.”

Hilar­ia not­ed that although their large fam­i­ly is “well thought out,” they still face tough moments that some­times lead them back to ther­a­py.

‘Do We Have Squabbles? One Hundred Percent’

Despite the chal­lenges, Hilar­ia empha­sized that both she and Alec remain com­mit­ted.
“Do we have our usu­al fam­i­ly squab­bles? One hun­dred per­cent,” she said. “But when both peo­ple want to be there and want to make it work, I think you can get through any­thing togeth­er.”

Losing — and Finding — Herself

Hilar­ia also admit­ted she strug­gled with a loss of iden­ti­ty after mar­ry­ing a world-famous actor.

“In many ways, I lost part of my iden­ti­ty when I mar­ried Alec,” she said. She described the over­whelm­ing pres­sure of being talked about pub­licly for the first time in her life.

One com­ment on Insta­gram, she said, final­ly woke her up: “A woman told me, ‘You have to know your iden­ti­ty — oth­er­wise oth­ers will define it for you.’ And it wasn’t a celebri­ty who told me that.”

“We’re all the same — famous or not. Just flesh and blood,” she reflect­ed.

Hilar­ia added that she’s slow­ly redis­cov­ered her­self despite the spot­light. “I wasn’t as clear about who I was as I should have been. Peo­ple can say what­ev­er they want. I can’t stop that. But I can know myself in a way that keeps me from feel­ing that same nau­sea I’ve felt so many times.”